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Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda

In these times of divisiveness and mounting tension, exacerbated by Venus Retrograde and the eclipses, my thoughts run along the following lines that might resonate with your own thinking:

I should have . . .

  • Because it’s expected by me or others

  • Because I committed to it

  • Because I was capable of it

  • Because it’s good for me (or someone else)

  • Because it aligns with my values and priorities

I could have . . .

  • If only I’d known

  • If I’d stretched a bit

  • If there weren’t so many obstacles

  • If I wasn’t paralyzed by emotion

I would have . . .

  • If I’d taken the time to be more informed

  • If it wasn’t so big and overwhelming

  • If it didn’t conflict with another value

  • If I hadn’t prioritized something else

Moving forward, I intend to move out of shoulda-coulda-woulda and . . .

  • Recognize my true values of . . .

  • Prioritize the value of . . .

  • Balance the value of . . . with the value of . . .

  • Educate myself about the specifics of . . .

  • Identify a chunk that’s do-able by me . . .

  • Identify the timeframe in which I’ll do my chunk . . .

For me, the “moving forward” part is the most important.

When I do it well, I begin with some honest soul-searching to surface my true values. I reflect on them to figure out how they bump into or align with each other.

When I do it well, I set some priorities for this time and space, reminding myself that I might prioritize other values at other times.

When I do it well, I learn more about what’s going on and tap into options for action.

Most importantly, when I do it well, I identify the chunk or bit that’s do-able by me. The needs of my family, friends, community, country, and the world can feel endless and overwhelming so it’s easy to think that I, alone, won’t make much of a difference. Still, when I consider “a chunk that’s do-able by me,” I begin to realize that, if I find out what’s – specifically – needed and identify the priorities that align with my values, I can often find a small bit that’s within my capabilities. Given my physical abilities, my finances, my daily commitments, and my skills, I can find a chunk to do.


For a PDF of this blog, go here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gxL--0CC75c2w8TXuwA3w8qXXc8XKigj/view?usp=sharing



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